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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. You all seem unanimous so I think maybe it’s a cultural thing. Im from a different country originally where kids wouldn’t do this. DD wouldn’t either but probably because of me. To the PP who said “ who takes kids to Starbucks?” I didn’t take them, hence pre ordering on the app. We did a cold weather outside activity then I thought getting s hot chocolate close by would be nice. It’s all in the same area. [/quote]

It is a UMC with parents that don’t say no thing.  My kids wouldn’t do this, but their absolutely have friends that do.  I have no problems telling them no.  [/quote]

Then you’re rude.  Who only buys hot choc and refuses tea?!  How strangely controlling.   [/quote]

It’s rude to say you don’t want hot chocolate, but buy me a latte instead, at 10, or however old these kids are.  If a parent asks if you want hot chocolate, it is a yes or no question.  If one of the children says no, the polite adult would then ask if there was something else they would like instead.  But to presume you can get a latte instead is rude. [/quote]

This. When you serve birthday cake, you get what you get. You don’t survey everyone to see what they would like, otherwise you’d be having one red velvet cake, and one carrot cake, and one Brooklyn blackout cake. NO! It’s the same when you offer someone something else. It’s a yes or no response. My god, children are so coddled.[/quote]

Except birthday cake is obviously different from a drink at a coffee place and kids understand that. You can't go to a birthday party and make a specialty cake request -- there is a cake and you can have some or not. But it's not like OP had a carafe of hot chocolate and was offering it to kids and one of them said "no, can you make me a chai latte instead?" THAT would have been rude. But OP was ordering individual drinks via an app. It's really not weird or rude to request an alternative (and similarly priced) drink in that situation. It imposes almost no extra burden on OP at all. I guess she has to scroll through the app for an extra 20 seconds? That doesn't feel like a big deal to me.

Teaching kids to only give yes or no responses to offers does not turn them into independent adults, by the way. It teaches them to be 100% reliant on your judgment and decision-making, because they are not allowed to ask questions. A lot of people who grow up with very militant parents like this struggle in adulthood, where you have to make choices and where the "right" choice is not always clear cut. A kid who (1) has a preference, and (2) can voice it, will be better prepared to navigate a world where there are many choices but not everyone is super accommodating. No one can tell you yes unless you ask in the first place.[/quote]

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