Reply to Will a "hall pass" save our relationship

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Will a "hall pass" save our relationship "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t do a hall pass; do threesomes or couple swaps together. Make it an activity you engage in together.

Raising kids is the opposite of sexy time. In fact, it sucks. I totally understand why the sex drive is missing; it’s quite normal in a house with 5 grubby-needy kids.

You need to remember what it feels like to be an adult, to feel desired, to feel alive. That doesn’t happen with kids hovering around 24/7.[/quote]

JFC, the "threesomes and swaps" people found the thread.

Love how you proponents of threesomes; swaps; poly; and open marriage all blithely mention them as if people can simply snap their fingers and the ideal extra partners simply materialize. There's never any mention in these "just try this!" posts about how to find all these willing (and of course, attractive!) partners; how to navigate everyone testing for STDs; how to talk about boundaries; what happens if someone develops feelings and jealousies (gosh, that never happens in your perfect, sharing world, right?) and so on. The posts advocating all these multi-partner "relationships" always just say, "Make it an activity you engage in together" as if it's board game night or doubles tennis. Nope, it's sex, and many of us--maybe most--attach at least SOME level of emotion to sex. And the energy it would take to juggle these sex meet-ups? Good grief. You'd advising a woman with five kids to find the time and energy to line up multiple sex partners agreeable to her DH, to her, to others as well.

OP, some posters on DCUM love to post as if these arrangements are perfectly normal and easy to create. That's not true. And anyone who doesn't [i]want[/i] to be poly/open/threesome/swinging shouldn't force themselves to do it JUST to save a marriage. If your spouse is already so removed from the marrriage commitment that he would go for these things, when you would not be interested -- it's over anyway. [/quote]

Cry. Harder.

People do this all the time. And yes, it’s like dating - you need to meet for drinks, see if there’s compatibility, be safe about STDs, etc. But it’s no worse than being single and dating/hooking up with new people. There will be both duds and awesome people.

My point was that a “hall pass” likely won’t resolve anything. Why? Because they need bonding experiences that are exciting and arousing. And kids make that really hard, if not impossible. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics