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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I have three full siblings and a similar family dynamic.  When I turned 18 my parents told me I was an adult and no longer would receive Christmas presents because they had to save resources for my younger siblings.  I'd come home for Christmas from college and watch my siblings open iPhones, laptops and dSLRs while I received nothing.  I'd purchase presents for each of them from my minimum wage job earnings.  They got me nothing.  It turns out that the rule only applied to me and my parents didn't cut any of my other siblings off at 18, just me.  My siblings are in their late 30s and still get nice presents from my parents.

It's still like that.  I treat my parents AND siblings when we go out to eat. My siblings are treated by my parents if they do something without me.  Why?  I don't know. My parents have always hated spending money on me.  I've been an obligation my whole life, while they lavish my siblings.

If I raise an issue I'm called greedy.  My options are to make peace with it or cut ties with my family.  They aren't going to change, but it hurts.  Over and over again it hurts.[/quote]

Are you siblings male while you are female? Or is it about looks? Something else?
Sorry you have to go through this. I would not buy them gifts [/quote]
I was born first and apparently my dad wasn't ready for kids despite being almost 30.  He viewed me as competition for my mother's time and affection.  Apparently this caused a lot of tension between my parents.  He never bonded with me and has always resented me.  When my siblings came, starting 5 years later, next was a boy who liked sports, and apparently he was ready to be a father of a boy who liked sports.  He bonded to my brother and subsequent siblings and loves them.

My mother does love me individually, but resents when I burst the bubble of the five of them being a happy family (which my very existence spoils).  There's lots of tension between me and my heavily favored siblings, and there always has been.  I get along best with the youngest who doesn't buy into the nonsense and has a clearer view of what's going on.

Me paying for everything is typically justified because I'm the most financially secure.  This is true, but isn't it normal for the oldest to be the furthest along the trajectory of building wealth?  My siblings are not that far behind when you age norm (we're spread across 12 years) but I'm still always in the lead.  Seriously, my DINK sister's HHi was $500k last year and my fixed income parents still paid for her thanksgiving accomodations.  My parents haven't paid for a hotel room for me since middle school--even my high school trips with the school I paid from my part time job.  They seem to like having "their kids" depend on them, maybe?  I don't know. I don't think it makes a lot of sense so I try to just appreciate that I can afford my own choices and let them spend their money as they please.

OP, I think you just have to decide on your own boundaries.  There's no way to make it fair.  [/quote]

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