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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm curious whether any of these people that are suggesting that these old people "reap what they sow" would REALLY let their own parents become destitute and/or not get the care they need in old age.

Yes, the ILs failed to plan.  Yes, they should have.  That was wrong.

But there is nothing in OP's post to indicate that they are overall bad people, were bad parents or bad grandparents. I couldn't imagine not helping them out if the need arises.

It sucks and I'm sorry OP, but my best advice is to just try to come to terms with it.  Better yet, try not to think about it at all.  It hasn't happened yet, and may not.[/quote]

I would let my dad choose from Medicare funded homes when he got to the point of needing care. I wouldn’t fund some $10k a month nice place.

I would not let him be homeless either if he was at a phase where Medicare would not fund. But, it would be a studio apartment.

[b]That said, my dad is a jerk and we are not super close. We are not estranged, but I don’t have some close relationship with him[/b].[/quote]

I think the bolded is the key.  If you otherwise have a good relationship with the parents, you suck it up and help them out.  The amount that you spend helping them out depends on your means, and how good of a relationship you have with them.[/quote]

PP again. I agree with you, but even if my mom was still alive — whom I was very close with — I sincerely doubt I would fall for their emotional blackmail of wanting to sustain a particular lifestyle. I would be like “yep, you better let the bank foreclose if you let it get to that point. And I will pay for an apartment, utilities and food.” If they were both alive, I would probably go for a one bedroom instead of a studio if there were two of them. But, I am not a people pleaser and imminently practical.[/quote]

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