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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went through this with my dad and eventually I just stopped calling him. The guilt of not calling is more bearable than the dread of making the call, the abuse during, and the regret afterwards.[/quote]

This. I moved to only email, text and seeing in person. Anytime I got a nastygram I took a long break and put it in my nastygram file.

It never fails the posters who warn about estrangement and permanent damage to your life. Yet, I never met someone who went in that direction without years of therapy and trying every technique to have a tolerable relationship. Basically you keep stepping back until you find the sweet spot where you can stand to interact without having an emotional hangover every time. I found once I went very low contact, after probably 7 years of pulling back and crying in therapy over abusive behavior, I finally found some sense of sanity and didn't need therapy. The nutties here will tell you all therapists tell you to cut off. Quite the contrary actually. They try everything known to research to help you have a tolerable relationship. Cut off is bad for business, because it's often a huge relief. I haven't needed therapy since going low contact. perhaps she has, but she has needed therapy her whole life and avoided it so if this finally made her confront her abusive ways that drove so many people away, it is good for her health.[/quote]

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