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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I understand. My mom is from a culture where visits are all about sitting around and “visiting”, which in the olden days meant sitting at a table for hours drinking coffee, eating baked goods , and gossiping. Her expectation when visiting our children is that she will sit down and do the same with me for 4-6 hours a day, and she spends the rest of the time on her iPad or watching Tv. This was bad when my kids were babies, because she was annoyed by their needs and wanted me to sit around with her and listen to her. It was bad when they were preschoolers, because she resented the interruptions to go to a park (cold, boring, no good benches to sit on, having to interact with other parents <gossiping) or toddler ballet or just outside in general. Now I ignore her passive-aggressive comments about visiting and don’t offer to host, because my kids hate having to sit around and listen to grandma talk or watch grandma’s shows. She used to expect us to cancel extracurriculars during her visits and would guilt them when they need to go to soccer, dance, or Girl Scouts because “I never seeeee you and I flew all this waaaaaay.” She was about to shift to visits like your mom’s, because she made it clear that our house was too loud and uncomfortable for her, and kept saying she would just stay at a hotel and spend the evenings with us. I imagine that our evenings would have been like yours, OP.[/quote]

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