Reply to I do not like the parent population at my kids school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I was a parent and teacher at the same school. Parents would vent to me about these kinds of things.

Not saying this is your situation, but some things that came up:

1) A kid would not get invited to playdates (and the parents would get shunned) because the kid got in trouble in class.  Small things like drawing a weird picture (violent) or pulling on someone's pony tail. Instead of criticizing the kid directly, parents would avoid the family b/c their kid was uncomfortable.

2) Drinking. Too much or too little. (You or them)

3) People going through marital issues themselves kept their circle of friends close. They are holding on to people they trust and worry about newbies.

4) Competition. Some people would have their kids trying out for travel sports or theatre and would avoid talented kids b/c they didn't want more people in the ring fighting for their spot.

5) The scarlet letter. You could have made friends with someone that other people don't like to be around. Join a committee. It sucks but you will get the inside scoop.

6) Less money. Not that you have less money (who cares), but that someone has a smaller house or something and they don't want to "host" a playdate, but they can't necessarily come to yours. Larger group events in a financially neutral place, like a park by school, could help.

7) Someone is creepy. Could be a sibling or a spouse or something else. I have avoided playdates where the supervision is "loose" and some parent I liked as friends, I had to side-step because one of my kids didn't like their scary dog, the way "Grandma" insisted on hugs & kisses from friends, etc., or a brother always wanted to wrestle. Not saying you have that going on, but it is the kind of thing you wouldn't say out loud, but work around.

8) Language. Cursing or off-color stories. I heard a parent cursing in a restaurant yesterday (kid was in middle school) and I was relieved that they had good communication, but I know some parents would be clutching their pearls.

If you go to a lot of events and share group photos with other parents it is an unobtrusive way to connect.

[/quote]

Yes- all true.  But there are some people at every school who have friends from preschool or their club and are not interested in adding more to the mix even if you’re fun and great.  Some of those people, rude as it is, won’t respond to a text or email.  Tell your kid this other kid/the mom are very busy and wait for another play date option emerges.  It doesn’t feel good, but please know it happens.[/quote]

This. Op sorry and I totally can see how it can affect your experience. Some schools are notorious for having a smaller dominant social group run everything in the community and they let it be known that they are friends and their kids are friends and you are not. That can make social events uncomfortable and yes parents should be able to connect and feel good at their kids schools. Don’t shame op.

I just witness a mean mom totally put her back to another mom at an event [b]the other night.[/b] It was so rude and so obvious to me and others. I tried to include the other mom but she gave up and walked away. I have seen this same mean mom and her friends do this on several occasions. [/quote]

was this STA?[/quote]

I find it interesting that so many schools are having events but you guessed STA. Are you part of the mean mom group behaving so boorishly? The behavior is noticed by many and it is absolutely appalling.[/quote]

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