Reply to Not attending sibling’s wedding reception

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Send a nice cash gift + your regrets. Four kids is a great excuse.[/quote]

Four kids is not a great excuse. It really never is in most situations. You’re not “exempt” from other aspects of life because you have 1, 2, 3 etc kids. Such silly irresponsible thinking.
[/quote]

Four kids across the country means that for many people attending as a unit would simply not be possible, and it is very elitist to not see that. Most families cannot drop 5k on a trip somewhat randomly.

But OP I think this is a relationship ender. There are two real choices here

1) Go alone, attend wedding and reception, and make it look like you're having a decent time (I guess 1b is go with your whole fam but I don't think that is necessary)
2) Don't go, and become fully estranged

From the way you described your sibling, it sounds like you mean a lot to them, and they believe you have a loving, if distant, relationship. You have no memory of closeness, but you are hearing their pleas and it sounds like they aren't the 'bad' people causing the estrangement so you are torn. And maybe a little guilty, punishing or abandoning this sibling who seems more like collateral damage than a villain.

Family can suck, trust me I know, but it is not bad to have some ties to pieces of your heritage/history that are not abusive. I think it sounds like you should go, and that it will be hard and not fun, but that it would mean a lot to this sibling. [/quote]

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