Reply to Changing children’s last name to biological mom who used sperm donor

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Reply to "Changing children’s last name to biological mom who used sperm donor"

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[quote=Anonymous]1) Do your kids know they were donor conceived?
2) Do your kids call your BF "Dad"?
3) Does your BF know he is on their birth certificates?
4) Did your BF ask to be on their birth certificates?  If so, he is their legal father, full stop.  You consented to this.  This is reality.
5) Does your BF agree their names should be changed?
6) Have you ever talked to the kids about changing their names?

My son carries my name, not his dad's, though I am married to his dad.  He's always known it is my name, and he understands it is unusual in our culture to take the mom's name, and that it's really special and cool (to me) that he has mine.  I've also let him know he has every right to change his last name to his dad's if he chooses to when he is an adult, or even if he feels strongly now.  He thinks the idea is utterly absurd.  His name is who is IS.  He is 9.

No matter what your situation that got you here, at this point you have two children with fully formed identities with the last names they have used for years.  If you wanted to change their names when they were 18 months old, I'd have totally been with you.  But these are THEIR names now.  They should only be changed if they want to let go of your BF's name and they don't consider him their father.  [/quote]

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