Reply to Do you think antidepressants would help with this pattern of fighting with DH?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]High dose Lexapro is usually subscribed for anger mgmt people.[/b] Must be taken daily, at same time, no skipping. His GP could provide this if he’s able to tell them he’s having problems.  It may help somewhat but his toxic behavior and insulting communication style may be fully ingrained by now. Likely because it has worked for decades - gets him off the hook, attacks the other person’s personhood, avoids conflict resolution, protects his ego & image. While simultaneously breaking down the victim, you. Overtime you will be a shell of the person you once were. [/quote]

OP here.  Thank you for addressing my question.  Lexapro is what I had in mind.  What constitutes a high dose?

And, yes, everyone, I do recognize this as emotional abuse and have told him that, which of course he finds very offensive.  I agree I can't put up with this forever, but I want to try all possible solutions before giving up.   [/quote]

This is very dysfunctional . . . I know you know that. I'm sure Lexapro could help him be less reactionary but if he never addresses his issues (why he is unable to handle perceived criticism, why he is OK with mistreating others to soothe himself) you'll just have a reduction in toxic behavior, not a path toward resolving it.

Things were never this bad with my husband but he was conflict avoidant and would build up resentment against me over things he never even mentioned, then he would blow up with a long list of grievances. This came to a head when he had an affair. Knowing he was on very thin ice, he did agree to go to counseling, which he took very well to. He still goes 7 years later. He's grown and matured a lot and we've learned how to have healthy communication. So I do think people can learn new skills if they are motivated to do so and willing to take accountability, but you can't force another person to be motivated and willing. You can only have boundaries and enforce them.[/quote]

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