Reply to 17 Year Old Custody Schedule

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]By this age, your 17 yr old's wishes would be taken into consideration by a judge. Suggest to DS that he invite his dad to come to HIM, and hang out for an afternoon through dinner. Maybe they could do that once a month and DS could go there one weekend a month. [/quote]

OP here:  that is what I proposed, but dad said absolutely not, no way.  He wants his full two weekends a month at his house, end of story.

I just really can't afford to go to court to fight this out, even if a judge would listen.  I'm really scared of being held in contempt of court.[/quote]

Good luck to your ex in having a close and meaningful relationship with his son if this is how he treats him. Tell your son he is supposed to follow the visitation schedule. When he doesn't and your ex squawks at you tell him you can't force a 17 yr old to see someone he doesn't want to see. Let him take you to court. This should not be expensive - maybe 2-4 hours of attorney billing time. Your son will have to say he doesn't want to go.[b] Judge will rule in his favor.[/b] [/quote]

OP here - how do you know this?

I also don't see how this will only be 2-4 hours of attorney billing time.  Last time we had to go to court over a dispute, it was at least 15 hours.[/quote]

I know the judge will rule in his favor because I've done matrimonial and family law for over 20 years and [b]courts listen to 17 yr olds about their wishes regarding visitation.[/b][/quote]

OP here: ok, but what if a 17 year old said they NEVER wanted to see the other parent?  A court wouldn't grant that, no?  Kids still have to spend time with both parents, unless parental rights are terminated.  That's how it's always been explained to me.

It's fair to say a judge would require DS to be there at least one weekend a month, right?  And I support that.  Both because I want DS to have a relationship with his dad, but [b]also, selfishly, as a single parent I do appreciate my occasional kid-free time.[/b][/quote]

No judgment OP, but this is the problem: you and your ex are on the same side against your kid. You’ve been pitching this as a difference between the kid and ex, but really it’s a convo between you and your kid about how you need some alone weekends too and if he stays home how can you still get that time. Once you and your son are on the same page I bet the ex piece will be easier to figure out. [/quote]

OP here:  This is why I have proposed (to both my ex and my DS) that my DS continue to spend one weekend a month with his dad.  I'm fine if it drops from two weekends to one.  But my ex is still insisting on both weekends.[/quote]

Right. But what does your kid say? Is he okay with one weekend?[/quote]

DS says he doesn't want to "have" to ever go up there on any sort of fixed schedule, but that one weekend would be better than two.[/quote]

Your kid wants to talk to the judge himself so he can say he doesn’t want anything. [/quote]

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