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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They should declare bankruptcy. Your DH has to make it crystal clear to his mother that you and he will not be finding their retirement. Your DH should tell her straight to her face that she has to stop spending and become an adult. Does your DH have any siblings who can join the discussion and present a united front?[/quote]

Me again. I see there are siblings who are on their way to being financially useless. Your DH should sit down with those siblings and discuss the dire circumstances of their parents’ massive debt and unrealistic financial expectations. He should also encourage them to develop financial independence by working at better jobs. Do they have college degrees, or what’s their plan? Do they also expect your DH to help them out financially?[/quote]

Op here. Thanks PP for your advice. They do have college degrees in liberal arts. In the back of our minds we’re scared that when ILs are no longer here, we’re expected to financially help. I don’t know how I would approach this subject. Would it be too premature ?[/quote]

Your DH needs to set expectations sooner than later. My own parents used to financially support my dad's siblings many decades ago, but that was mainly because he was the only one in the family to earn a college degree and get a decent job, while the siblings were low achieving. Fortunately my mom was fully on board and there was value in helping the less fortunate. However, it became a bottomless pit, and the other side of the coin is that there was hardly any breathing room in our family finances, and growing up my sibling and I never had any spending money. It gave me anxiety, even decades later. You do not want to take on that responsibility, especially as they are able bodied and college educated. [/quote]

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