Reply to I'm going through some very rough times and can't tell anyone....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As sh!tty as this DCUM can be, I think this is an area where you can find the support you need that you can't find in your real life.  I'm the PP who is at an age that I don't have any more f@cks to give.  I wish you were in the place that I'm at now.  I don't know why it took me so long to get to this place but I chalk it up to conditioning - both by family and by society.

I agree with PPs that have said you no longer need to feel compelled to keep secrets.  Yes, it can be re-traumatizing to bring it up and not be believed.  This is where not giving a f@ck comes in handy.

I also agree with the PP said that you don't need your DH.  Again, this is where not giving a f@ck can come in handy.  I guess it's about knowing, really knowing, your worth.  You ARE an amazing person, OP!  I wish I knew you in real life so we could have coffee and I could tell you that you CAN do this on your own.  You've done so much already.  Now it's time to really own your life.  Do it!  Hugs![/quote]

This really made me feel better. All day I have been thinking about suicide and how I would do it. This really helped me as did other PPs comments. Thank you.[/quote]

No more f@cks to give PP here.  I'm glad it helped.  It can be hard when you're in the midst of turmoil to recognize when you have 'disordered thinking' - which is the slope I think you may be sliding down if you've been thinking about suicide.  It's not 'un-normal' but you need to recognize it as unhealthy emotionally, not just intellectually.

Have you thought about going on an SSRI/medication to help you through this rough patch?  About 15 years ago, I was going through some rough times and thought I was actually in peri-menopause because my emotions were all over the place.  My OB/GYN suggested it was depression and prescribed a low dose SSRI.  It made an incredible difference.  It didn't make things better but it did allow me to spend less energy on my regulating my emotions.  I didn't realize until the medication kicked in just how much I was expending to keep my sh!t together.  Was on it about 9 months and wouldn't hesitate to go back on it if needed.

You might also try meditation.  My teens and I use the Headspace app a couple times a day.  Sometimes for as little as 5 minutes but it helps to have those moments free of noise.

Keep posting to let us know how you're doing!  As a PP said, you've told your secret to us and while we don't know you, many of us do know what you're going through and we care. Hugs.[/quote]

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