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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom is 80 and displays (and has always displayed) borderline tendencies. I don’t have an official diagnosis because she thinks therapy is stupid, but her behavior is pretty textbook. She is nice and loving and extremely supportive (often too supportive…like no boundaries), but when I try to set any boundaries she becomes furious and punishes me. She just tried to go over my head with my teenager after I explicitly said no and told me I don’t know my old child. I e tried explaining why these things are hurtful but she changes the subject or refuses to acknowledge it. She had a really enmeshed relationship with her own mom (that was awful to watch), so she feels what she does and says is totally normal. I’ve cut off contact a few times…once for about 6 months. But then she forgets about it, and something happens and I let her back in…even though I know I can’t emotionally trust her. I just forget because she’s my mom and I love her and when she’s being normal she’s awesome. I’ve tried limiting contact but she sees that as me being mean and it leads to a fight. She must be totally in my business all the time. I’ve considered moving numerous times, but it’s not a great idea for other reasons and I’m an only child and I know my parents will need me. Despite all my mom’s crazy, she’s always there for me if something bad happens.

Can anyone relate? How do I deal with this? We’re on another round of not speaking after the last fight. It’s so exhausting. I try SO hard not to get drawn in, but I always do.  [/quote]

Want a story about my borderline mom? They all seem sooo small when you actually type it out/explain it, but years of dealing w/it all gets overwhelming.

My parents divorced when I was young, my dad then married and divorced again.  He has terrible taste in women.  Post-divorce his second wife is diagnosed w/a terminal illness. She calls my dad with some bs about how she wants to make amends by leaving $ to my kids to pay for college. He tells me, suggests I call her to discuss the details but I have no interest in this woman or her money or engaging with her.  Story should end there, right? Oh no. I accidentally mention this to my mom. She takes it upon herself to find this woman's phone # and call her to get the details about the money that dying woman is leaving the children of her ex husband in her will.  In her mind, it wasn't going behind my back or going against my wishes or even just wierd. I wouldn't get the $ from this woman so she had to. [/quote]

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