Reply to Asking for loan repayment in a productive (and hopefully peaceful) way

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I had a similar discussion with my teen daughter when she wanted to pay to take a boy out.. I told her “You don’t pay for the boy.. ever. You can make him brownies, you can give him a gift, (and the gift can be tickets to an event), but you don’t pay for him, he pays for you.. it can be an expensive date or a free date like a walk in the park (literally a walk in the park) but you never pay for him. You can suggest inexpensive dates, you can be happy to be with him, you can hold hands and kiss, but you never give him money.

As sexist as this sounds, OP, this is why I gave that advice. I’m sorry you are in this situation, not so much because of the money but because of how he responded to you when you asked him to pay you back. You seem like a nice lady.  It’s his job to take you out if he’d like to be your boyfriend, something else I am trying to teach my daughters.  Nobody owes you anything, but if they want you as their romantic partner, there are certain requirements that a healthy man should want to do.  I don’t think that’s talked about much in today’s world.   [/b]

As for what you can do now, text him (so you have a written record) and tell him you’d like the loan repaid. If he says “I’ll get to it” or “I’ll pay you” or anything of that sort, you then have a record that it is indeed a loan.  Then you can go after him in court.  I wouldn’t date him again or be friendly with him, no help with his kid nothing.
As for telling his ex and his family, you can, but we aren’t in feudal times, if they are on your side, and they may be, you’ll never know.  His ex won’t give you the money he pocketed, you made the loan with the boyfriend not with her.  If you’d wanted to make the loan with her, you could have. You didn’t, and you can’t do it now. They aren’t married (I hope) so they are not a unit at least not legally.

His family won’t pay you back again for the same reason the ex won’t, why would they?

Go after him in small claims court if you can, tell anybody you’d like to tell, it is your truth as they say, (and I do believe you for whatever that’s worth) but aside from that, you just have to learn from this and not be in the situation with him or any other person again. 
Next time a boyfriend or friend needs money for an appliance, just nod and say “If I see any sales, I’ll let you know”.  Even if it is an emergency, you don’t need to step in, the person who is oh so desperate got along fine before they knew you, and to quote from Hamilton somewhat “He’s a smart man, he’ll be fine”. 
I’m sorry, op. You do seem like someone I would like.

[/quote]

Vomit. Go back to 1955 where you belong.[/quote]

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