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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]no clue how she has so many predictable and convenient “emergencies” but anyway…[/quote]

As someone who often has the types of issues that your MIL has, my problem is that too many people know that I am a people pleaser and that I don't say "no", so many people call and ask me for things and I usually acquiesce.  So, I can be planning to do something, but one of the Mom's of my kids' friend will call/text me for something that will just take a minute.  Someone in the scout troop will ask if I have a copy of the form for the weekend camping trip, so I'll get on the computer to find it and send it.  The head of the PTA will send me a note that the teachers in our grade's classrooms are out of certain supplies, so I'll go and put in an Amazon order for the teachers.  Someone from work will ask for something that I can get quickly, even though it is my day off from work.  And so on and so on.  I do all these one off things for people.  This is why during my work days, I typically don't get to my own work until after lunch.  My mornings are usually helping other people with things that they need.

And lest you think that this is only because my kids are young and when they are older, it gets easier, pre-kids we were involved in a number of community organizations and volunteer activites, all of whom have half as many volunteers as they need and I was always pegged as the "go to" person.  When someone asked what they were supposed to do, many others would say "Ask &lt;me&gt;".  What felt like the best thing was when we had kids, I started to say "No, don't have time because of the kids..."  I've gotten much better in recent years on my own life, but now, my kids' activities and lives dictate mine.  Hopefully when my kids grow older and fledge, I'll get less active, but now that my kids are mildly more independent, many groups that I used to be very active with are already knocking down my door for help and support.  I've been good at saying no, but my desire to help people is wearing down since I don't have the excuse that my kids need me as much.

I really admire those who can say "no" easily, but I'm not one of them.[/quote]

Yeah this is not ok. If you tell someone you'll be there at noon, you're being rude to push that commitment aside to take on all those other requests.

When you get a boy scout text when you're supposed to be doing something else, you say "Sorry, I'm at work so I can't right now. I'll let ext you after 5." Mom's friend calls you, say " I'm busy until 6, but I can help you then. " This is what everyone does.

Grandma is being disrespectful. [/quote]

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