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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]If you use a relative, you lose control over how things are done. I prefer to have a professional relationship where my requests are honored. I usually defer to the daycare and in-home caretakers as they have known dozens or hundreds of babies - but I felt like we could discuss and come up with a schedule or feeding process that worked for everyone. I love my mom but I could not have those discussions without her feeling judged and scolded. 
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If your job is truly that flexible, then perhaps you can deal with the the the days off or instability of non-daycare options. Perhaps you also don’t need 8:30-5:30pm coverage. Many of us do need reliable full-day coverage. Others need coverage into the evening due to their job and a nanny or au pair works for them.

We used several different care models and my favorite is an in-home daycare with 2 caregivers and 4-7 kids. It was smaller and more personal than daycare, but without the tax and payroll of a nanny, coordinating with other families for nanny share, or having someone living in my house like an au pair. [/quote]

+100 such a valid point. My mom babysits regularly (say, one weekend a month) but blithely ignores many of my requests -- limit TV, no processed junk snacks, etc. If she were my nanny I'd fire her.[/quote]

Yup. Relatives desperately want your kid to love them. So anything that the kid likes, they get in abundance. My son LOVES pastries. Grandparents shove pastries in his mouth every chance they get, multiples times per day, days and days in a row.  He also loves the minions movies. So we have mountains of minion-related toys, books, etc that he never plays with. There’s currently a life-sized minion balloon in my living room that he’s terrified of. [/quote]

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