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[quote=Anonymous]I actually wished that when people judged they'd just say it. That I could deal with.

What is annoying to me is when people say they aren't judging with their words but definitely are. You either need to be able to truly keep that on the inside, or just own it. It's the passive aggression that gets to me. If you are just up front about it, I know to steer clear of you and won't share parenting challenges with you.

Unfortunately, for some women, judging other people is their favorite pastime so this is all by design. They WANT you to feel safe with them so you'll be vulnerable, and that way they can judge you and make themselves feel good. This is why when I encounter people who talk a lot of sh!t about other people's parenting, I steer clear of them moving forward. If they talk about other moms, they'll talk about me, and I don't want any part in it at all.

My feeling is there is no reason to judge other moms. If someone was actually endangering their child, it's not judgment anymore -- it's concern for the child. That's different. But if it's not that level, you're really just talking about degrees and minor differences. So one mom is more doting and another is more hands off. One stayed home and the other did daycare and the other got a nanny. Ok. It takes all kinds and society actually wouldn't work if all parents everywhere made the EXACT same choices -- we're better off with these differences, which produce kids with different strengths and attitudes, and just generally make the world a more interesting place. If you aren't abusing or neglecting your kid, how you choose to parent them is your business.[/quote]

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