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[quote=Anonymous]OP, so sorry to hear. This is not easy. Best wishes for your husband's recovery.

This is my mom. She would ask to come and help, and our dialogues would go like this:

M: how can I help
Me: could you please unload the dishwasher
M: Oh, maybe I won't be doing that; I would not know where everything goes
Me: explains (basically there are three shelves that we use here)
M: Ok, but maybe I can do this tomorrow; I am a bit tired now

Me: mom, could you watch Larlo from 9 to 11 tomorrow, I will get some work done; I will take him at 11 to feed and put for a nap
M: Oh, I was hoping I could go for a walk in the morning before it gets too hot
Me: Well, mom, I'd really appreciate if you could take him from 9 to 11 because that is when I need help
M: ok, but I will call you if he gets hungry; I don't feel comfortable feeding him

What helped somewhat is I sat her down and said smth like "Mom, love and appreciate that you want to help. There are some things that I need to get done that you can't help me with: breastfeeding, working, school stuff for older kid. What you can do that would really be helpful are: cook dinner by 6 pm each night; watch the baby from 9 to 11 in the morning; and read a book with the older one for 15 mins each night. Is this doable? Can I count on you? It helped that I gave her "rules" and structure: (1) baby 9-11, (2) dinner by 6:00 (3) read a book 8-8:15.[/quote]

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