Reply to If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?

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Reply to "If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unfortunately your mind will never forget. [/quote]

+1. It’s been almost three years since my husband cheated. I think about it every day. He’s done everything right in recovery. It just takes a long time to move past it. I think it’s harder to heal if you stay together. The reminder is in your face every day. It’s really hard to turn off the mental movies. [/quote]

it will be there even 30 years later

there are multiple ways to look at it:
1. it is painful but still eye-opening life experience, and in the healing process you learn about yourself, about human behavior, and how not to be possessive of your partner, who may have feelings for other people at times, including attraction; life is not perfect, it would be so boring if nothing ever did happen to make you think about tough decisions, just look at it that way (I know sometimes you feel like running away in the middle of the night or even worse, just pray and think it is still the work and will of God, and I'm not even religious)
2. you had one relationship with your partner before the affair, the affair was on your break-off, then you got back together, two people that went through life-changing experience (except for those really awful cases where sex happens in both long-term and affair relationships, those I cannot comprehend) ... remember rachel and ross in friends 'we were on a break', keep your humor, there are other more dramatic situations that you would not want to trade yours with[/quote]

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