Reply to DW still nursing a 20 month old on demand.

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[quote=Anonymous]I happily BF both my kids til 2 years old. It was a really good experience for all involved. First, let's acknowledge that your wife went through a lot to BF. Even if you enjoy it, it takes a toll on your body, your hormones, your time. You can love it and feel touched out at the same time. But time flies and this time will pass, so try to be as supportive and empathetic as you can be while you guys figure out how to move forward. You being a supportive partner can only benefit everyone.

All that being said, it can be an incredibly convenient way to soothe your child and that can become a routine. I can't blame anyone involved for creating that pattern but if it becomes untenable for your family, it's certainly  something you can actively work on. I agree with the PP that your daughter will show her big feelings as change is a big deal for toddlers.  Let her have those feelings and sit with her in the discomfort. Start by explaining to her what is going to happen a few times. "Mama's best only comes out when we wake up, when we take a nap and when we go to bed. (or whatever you decide are the appropriate times).  When she gets upset, don't try to use distraction. Be direct about it. "I know. I hear you. You are mad/sad/upset that you can't have best with Mama. You really want it but it's resting right now. You can have it before nap." Repeat this process....a lot.

If you are ready to wean, I  did a countdown with my kids. I started about 10 days before and explained that we would only nurse for 10 more sleeps and then you're a big boy and drink milk from a cup". Then 9 days, then 8 days....etc. It worked weirdly well. Kids need (and deserve) to know what to expect and when given that respect, they often surprise you! Remember to acknowledge your wife's hard work in taking care of your kids and the emotions she will have about ending this sweet time in her and your daughter's life (when her little girls needed her this way). Good luck![/quote]

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