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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DC committed and we’ve been trying to show our excitement for him, but he is unhappy and says he should have applied to different schools and didn’t like any of his choices in the end. He is a great student, strong test scores etc, and worked so hard and was so engaged in school.  He seems deflated now. [b] Basically he did all this work and for what.  This part is immature, but he also has a few classmates going to the same school as him and he says they are lesser students (purely from an academic standpoint) so that likewise makes him feel like he should have aimed higher because he’s now ended up in the same place as them.[/b]  On one hand, I understand — if money were no object he could’ve gone full pay to a more prestigious school (whatever that even means) but we were upfront with him that without merit we could not pay $75k/year and we’re opposed to significant loan obligations.  Ultimately that led him to a top 50-60ish school (honors college) and we’ll get him out with no debt.  I do believe he’ll be happy, but am just bummed that he is bummed.

Anyway, just feeling a bit sad that he is sad.  Any other parents experiencing this with their kids?  I’m also wondering if any parents of kids who are finishing their freshman year felt like this a year ago and can provide some perspective?  Thanks.[/quote]

Yep. That happens quite often. I feel bad for your DS. He wasted so much effort and gave up doing other fun stuff for what? What you can do now is help him understand that people who work the hardest in life don't always get the best result and one thing that is so important is knowing when you are doing a lot but getting a diminishing return.  [/quote]

Perhaps this is a good lesson in balance.  Yes part of HS is working for good grades and good test scores and having ECs.  But those EC should be something your kid wants to do---let them lead the way.

My own DC choose to focus on what she loves.  All EC are outside of school---she dances.  She dances a lot (15+ hours/week part of year 20-25 hours). She chose to select STEM AP courses because that's her focus--she took 8 APs total, 4 each Jr/Sr year.  She could have done well with English/History APs, but would have been miserable (and it would have not been healthy with 10-15 hours of extra work per week).  And you know what, she is so, so, so happy she chose not to take AP Eng/AP History.  Why?  Because ultimately her top 2 schools do not let you count AP courses for their "core curriculum" So the only reason she would have taken those APs was to get college credit, and she wouldn't have gotten that.

So she smartly picked AP courses that she liked/that would benefit her (even if she didn't do well she would be more prepared for college Calc/Chem/Bio/Physics/etc---she did fine and will get credit for all).  She did 20+ hours of EC weekly that she loves.   She has no regrets.  We didn't use a college counselor until spring of junior year to assist with essays and selecting a good college list (no doing EC because it would "look good").  
My kid will be attending a school that has been top 30/40 for the last 20 years.  She's found the right fit for her.

Could she have ultimately gotten into a Top 20 school if she'd done things differently?  Possibly, but the pressure of that would not have made for a  good 4 years of HS.  She landed where she belongs and is picking a college for what it offers her (hint: it's an amazing school in a town/area that isn't the "nicest"/the weather sucks, yet with each visit she doesn't care and just said this is the place for her). [/quote]

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