Reply to My 3 year old is a brat

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[quote=Anonymous]Ignore the haters. They simply don't have this type of kid. My first - easy peasy. My current three year old - watch out!

Very similar to OPs kid. Super independent. A 20 minute tantrum when denied ice cream for breakfast, tells me I'm not her mom and she doesn't love me.

Here's what works for us.

For tantrums, I validate her feelings (I understand that you want ice cream for breakfast and you are very mad that we arent going to have any.), reinforce the "No" message (maybe we'll have some ice cream later but not now), tell her that her screaming hurts my ears so I'm leaving the room, and then wait for the clue that the tantrum is over (crying out for mom/dad). Then, I comfort and snuggle her.

When she says she doesn't love me, I tell her that's OK - I love her all the way to [the sun/moon/park,etc..] and go back, and I will always love her. This usually makes her very angry, but I want her to know that I unconditionally love her, no matter what she says.

Lastly - we just learned from a Today show special that all tantrums end the same way. Crying out for mom or dad. I had no idea! It has helped us immensely since the tantrums last for varying time periods. Previously, we would intervene too early and make things worse.[/quote]

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