Reply to My DD changed her mind on her ED school

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[quote=Anonymous]Almost every kid I know who did ED had a bit of buyer's remorse (including my own), and then most got out of it eventually. Many do after May 1 when everyone's committed.  My kid sort of waxed and waned on it all summer even after committing, and even fall of 1st year there wasn't 100% sure, but now has grown to love the place.  I think the thing is making a kid aware that they could get out of it but giving absolutely zero help in that process.  So sure, you don't need to go to your ED school--'don't go if it's not the right place for you. We'll support you.'  But then it's 100% on her to figure out what she would really like to do and how to make it happen and how to communicate that to the institutions.

(I feel this way about transferring too--express absolutely that you can transfer if you want, but then back away--they have to research how, do all the paperwork, meet the deadlines, make it work financially etc).  I think giving them the feeling of agency and control is enough to help kids get out of that uncertainty if it isn't a real problem.  They know they are in the driver's seat so if they aren't changing things they must really want them.  Psychologically that often helps them feel more confident in their choice--or if it's really a bad decision they will make a change and feel empowered by all they did to make that change happen.  [/quote]

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