Anonymous wrote:ED is such a scam. It's to give a leg-up to full pay rich kids and legacies. That's the sole reason for ED's existence. I guarantee that many competitive universities will soon be fill 75%+ of the incoming class with only ED's.

I hate it and wish it was banished.

Anonymous wrote:I have two at college and I've noticed a rather large buyers remorse effect for ED kids around this time of year as they see their RD friends get spring acceptances. Just remind her that she selected her school for a reason and that, while she has to go next year, she can reevaluate at a later time whether she wants to transfer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is committed to it and will stick with it, but she recently realized she made a mistake in picking the school and wishes she chose something else. She has been very sad about it which has been hard to watch. I think she just changed/evolved since early Fall when she applied. I'm not sure how to help he with this. I hate seeing her so upset about something that I thought she would be excited about. I suppose she could transfer at some point but just seems like a depressing way to start college by thinking about transferring already. I don't really have a question. But I do think that some kids change (mature) a lot between the beginning of senior year to the end, and that ED isn't always a good idea because of this. Just something to think about.

I feel for your daughter.
Many kids change/mature during senior year, so having to commit to one college so early can be tough.
I imagine our kids matured more this year - the last 1-2 years seemed like a social stall for some of them, because of the pandemic, and being virtual for so long.

Also with the pandemic, many of our kids didn’t get to visit as many schools as they would have, making it hard to know what you want.
Hopefully she’ll be pleasantly surprised in the Fall but if not, she can transfer.
Try to help her remember the good things about the ED school and why she was attracted to it originally.

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry, OP. As a parent of a junior at a private school that really pushes ED, I am appreciative of this thread. Could you provide any more info on why your daughter’s preferences changed in terms of size and atmosphere? What else would you do differently?

So far what I am hearing from other posters is there seems to be buyers remorse for kids who felt like they made a strategic choice rather than picked their favorite school (although adults seem to find wisdom in the choice).

Anything else? Did you all visit ED choice? Trying to avoid this for my junior so I am appreciative of all the advice.

Anonymous wrote:Almost every kid I know who did ED had a bit of buyer's remorse (including my own), and then most got out of it eventually. Many do after May 1 when everyone's committed. My kid sort of waxed and waned on it all summer even after committing, and even fall of 1st year there wasn't 100% sure, but now has grown to love the place. I think the thing is making a kid aware that they could get out of it but giving absolutely zero help in that process. So sure, you don't need to go to your ED school--'don't go if it's not the right place for you. We'll support you.' But then it's 100% on her to figure out what she would really like to do and how to make it happen and how to communicate that to the institutions.

(I feel this way about transferring too--express absolutely that you can transfer if you want, but then back away--they have to research how, do all the paperwork, meet the deadlines, make it work financially etc). I think giving them the feeling of agency and control is enough to help kids get out of that uncertainty if it isn't a real problem. They know they are in the driver's seat so if they aren't changing things they must really want them. Psychologically that often helps them feel more confident in their choice--or if it's really a bad decision they will make a change and feel empowered by all they did to make that change happen.