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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Ok to just make major parental decisions solo?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP being vague is not going to improve the communications issues with your spouse. What does "executive functioning issues" actually mean? It's a nonsense phrase that is so diffuse as to be meaningless. What specific skills or tasks or abilities do you feel your son to be deficient in respect to? What specific deficits we're identified by the IEP team and written up under 504? Example, the student is in a wheelchair and needs extra time to get from class to class as an accomodation. The child is dyslexic and needs extra time to complete times examinations. A 504 suggests some deficit was identified which does not rise to the level of a disability but does warrant some in school accomodation. I'm sure it doesn't say "the mother thinks the child child has executive functioning issues" in the IEP. There has to be more and it has to be much more specific of you want to die on this hill.[/quote] By executive functioning issues, I mean organization, planning, time management, and attention issues. Our child has an IEP for a gifted program. No 504 yet. The issues I mentioned were brought up by several different teachers over the years, and in particular, by the teacher of the gifted program, and written up in the IEP as well.[/quote] But OP, you still haven't explain in a specific fashion what you believe are your child's supposed deficits in "organization, planning, time management, and attention issues." Apparently he's not only above average as a student, he's gifted. Just because he doesn't study as hard as you want him to study, doesn't do the things you want the way you want him to do them, and perhaps isn't neurotically obsessed with being valedictorian doesn't mean he has any deficits in any of those still vague areas. Wanting to play video games and getting Bs and C's instead of straight As doesn't mean he has any deficits in any of the areas you listed. Half assing his school work and extra curriculars doesn't mean that either even if you are a tiger mom and want him to aspire to Harvard Medical School. It just means he doesn't share your priorities. When a parent falsely believes their child has a non existent deficit to the point of wanting authorities to officially label it, that's a form of munchausen by proxy. OP, it actually sounds like you are.more in need of an evaluation of some kind then your child is. [/quote] Wow, what? These are issues that have also been brought up by his IEP team, and they have voiced concerns about them becoming issues as the grade levels get higher and the work more complex. It hasn't been much of an issue up to this point, because there is a lot of hand-holding at the lower grade levels for things like remembering to bring your homework home, or staying on task at school, and it also helps that our child is advanced academically.[/quote] If you want specifics, these are the things he struggles with and teachers have commented on: - Forgetting to turn in assignment after completing it - Forgetting to bring home homework - Not starting on a long term project until a few days before - Taking 10x longer to finish homework than his peers (who are not in the gifted program) - Needing the teacher to constantly bring his focus back into the classroom - Not finishing assignments on time - Not finishing in-class tasks in the time allotted because of distraction or lack of focus - A very messy, unorganized desk and backpack - Daydreaming, drawing, playing with a zipper, playing with a lint ball during class time instead of participating [/quote] Apparently being a boy qualifies as a mental disorder. OP, my son is in a gifted program (tested in). He does all of these things. His teacher met with me and an OT to discuss his “issues” and I was kind of shocked that the district paid for two professionals to sit with me for an hour to discuss “strategies” to encourage my kid to be more careful, neat, not distracted, etc. I grew up in Europe and I am always touched by how purposeful American schools are in caring for children with disabilities, but I almost laughed that they are trying to “develop strategies to gently encourage [my son] to remember his homework”. I know it’s hard to believe in 2022, but not every curious and bright boy has a pathology.[/quote]
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