Reply to For all the parents complaining that the admissions process is rigged against their kids--

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[quote=Anonymous]It's a factor of too many equally qualified, well-rounded, top students and too little pieces of pie at the top 25 Universities.

You can't take it personally.  I did take it personally when I was wait-listed at 3 of my top choices.  I harbored a lot of resentment. But, I had a great college experience.  I am successful, more so than my best friend that graduated from an Ivy.

My kids have faced a lot of politics in the travel sports world.  They saw politics even in their elementary school--which had a lot of donors even though it was a public school.  They have a preference for anything that is 'merit-based'.

I have already changed my own views and my own approach. I make a point of showing him all the great kids he knows that are getting rejections. I have commented over and over about what a true crapshoot admissions can be.  I tell him how, yes, you can appear 'perfect, meet all the criteria' get rejected and never know why.  I hang on to the 'everything happens for a reason' mantra.  You do your best and then make the most of the outcome.

I have also routinely pointed out that what sometimes at the time seems like 'a failure' or a disappointment is actually what set you up for a better experience.  We have seen this in the sports world, not making a team and finding a better coach/teammates, having a better experience.  Sometimes even coming out ahead of everyone else 5 years down the road because of the grit and perseverance that rejection caused.

These kids were raised in the 'everyone gets a trophy' world which is not the real world.  For many of these kids, college rejections are the very first time in their 18 years they actually have been told 'no' or received a rejection that their parents couldn't steam roll over or persuade their way in to a 'yes'.[/quote]

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