Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paraphrased but accurate and revealing statements made in this thread:

- My kid's "A"s are valid but other kids are not, grade inflation covid etc.

- My kid deserves to be admitted to colleges X more than the kids who were admitted

- Colleges don't know who they want, they are also incapable of telling one kid from the next

- There is a substantive difference in quality between kids who are admitted and kids who are not

Guys, we all love our kids, and any real or perceived slight against them hurts, and we want them to have everything they want... but these positions above are unfair.

Your paraphrasing capabilities are terrible.

Really?

it IS unfair that qualities outside of their control and baseless to achievement are getting prioritized over what should matter and thus impacting your child's results. It's not fair and there is nothing we can do

.

Covid massively messed with grading, and any sense of the playing field in education. There are anecdotes (I have seen a few) of public schools simply handing out grades for submitting papers consisting of the same sentence repeated.

Colleges are trying in a very rapidly changing environment to build their brands, and in many cases working to undo the injustices of the past.

Unfair? sure, but the process has always been unfair because it's so loosely tied to the idea of actual merit.

We used to buy into some vague idea of merit: work hard, put your kid in the best school you can (based on their capabilities and yours, including money), kid gets grades and a few banner ECs and success (alas a narrow definition) will ensue. But that's falling apart, and we feel like we've let down our kids who aren't in the currently preferred categories used to social engineer college brands to be closer to what their strategy tells them they want.

If you want a society where outcomes are not driven by effort, stamina and drive; where challenges are all expected to be equalized then there are plenty of socialist democracies that you can join (and I hope you do).

It' has been known that people cheat to get admission slots. It's often done by wealthy people "who know better" but do so anyways to maintain power / privilege. White people checking URM demographic boxes isn't a surprise.

This is contrary to fact. It's been demonstrated that grades and test scores are lower for some student demographics - they are not the same level. The kids are simply not on the same academic performance level.

It is never a good thing when criteria is less about objective measures like test scores and GPAs and more about opaque subjective ones, which can be used to mask a whole host of biases.

It is how "old boys club" employers traditionally kept out women and minorities. (Sure, they may have had better undergrad transcripts, but they just weren't "cultural fits")

f there are problems with tests or GPAs, fix the tests and grading systems.

In the meantime, I'm teaching my kids they have to be much better than the average to have a shot at a school, and even then, it isn't a meritocracy -- so don't stress. The system isn't fair, but life isn't fair. Just focus on controlling what's in your power to control.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is white and has parents who graduated college, they are already unfathomably privileged. Of course, they don't realize that, because they have been privileged by it their entire lives.

The United States economic system is performance based. It provides opportunity to all members. Some will have to work harder than others and for many it is their struggles that make them stronger than their peers. I put myself though college due to divorced parents and an alcoholic father. I am now a 1%-er. My journey to this point was a lot harder than many of my peers but nothing in this life says things must be handed to you - THAT is entitlement, not being a hard working teen of now-wealthy parents. If you want a society where outcomes are not driven by effort, stamina and drive; where challenges are all expected to be equalized then there are plenty of socialist democracies that you can join (and I hope you do).

Your kid is an unbelievably privileged 1%er.

How a parent provides for their child is none of your concern, unless the parent is breaking some law in doing so. Society moves forward because children grow up while standing on the shoulder of their parents. To denigrate parents for providing opportunities to their children is asinine.

It is never a good thing when criteria is less about objective measures like test scores and GPAs and more about opaque subjective ones, which can be used to mask a whole host of biases.

It is how "old boys club" employers traditionally kept out women and minorities. (Sure, they may have had better undergrad transcripts, but they just weren't "cultural fits")

I can't believe the same people who claim to be nonprejudicial are so quick to believe having lots of Asians at a school is a bad thing because they are all robotic violin players with Tiger Moms who won't add to the richness of a school community. This is racism, plain and simple.

If there are problems with tests or GPAs, fix the tests and grading systems.

In the meantime, I'm teaching my kids they have to be much better than the average to have a shot at a school, and even then, it isn't a meritocracy -- so don't stress. The system isn't fair, but life isn't fair. Just focus on controlling what's in your power to control.

That's what black parents have had to teach their kids for generations and now Asian and white parents must. Two wrongs, of course, don't make a right. But this is where we are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a great article on how to teach your child to have no competitive spirit and be happy with what meager rations they are given.

Kids this bright are quite aware of who is getting into the schools they and their friends have been targeting for 2 or 3 years and they can see the reverse discrimination and unfairness at play. They are not 2 year olds looking for moms reaction on this.

Maybe responsible parenting is acknowledging that while top schools are a stretch for everyone, it IS unfair that qualities outside of their control and baseless to achievement are getting prioritized over what should matter and thus impacting your child's results. It's not fair and there is nothing we can do.

But that they will still go to a good school and because they are brilliant they will make the best of it. The world will level out once they get past the insanity/bubble of college admissions because in the real world results matter more than checking a demographic box and brilliance and hard work will pay off, regardless of liberal agendas.

Companies focus on things that matter and so while this phase of life will illustrate to them the unfairness of racism of discrimination, the good news is that they will be past this BS in four years.

That is the article I would write.

Holy entitled brat! Maybe they just picked up on these kids messed up superiority complexes and said no thanks.

That you get "entitled brat" out of the perspective that performance should be rewarded without regard to skin color, religion or socioeconomic status is exactly why we have a problem.

Performance is subjective. Your superstar is great but so are others. Your think the "performance" of your genius is superior and others have a different opinion.

Performance is only subjective to racists who think skin color is a factor in performance.

What an ignorant statement. Maybe you student said something as ignorant on the application and got denied.

LOL, come on, don't be stupid. You never call a racist to their face when you need something from them.

Ok. Your poor poor child did not get into the school.of her dreams. You think it was rascism. Got it. Good luck to her

My kid is the least of your concerns. Deal with your racist self first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is white and has parents who graduated college, they are already unfathomably privileged. Of course, they don't realize that, because they have been privileged by it their entire lives.

The United States economic system is performance based. It provides opportunity to all members. Some will have to work harder than others and for many it is their struggles that make them stronger than their peers. I put myself though college due to divorced parents and an alcoholic father. I am now a 1%-er. My journey to this point was a lot harder than many of my peers but nothing in this life says things must be handed to you - THAT is entitlement, not being a hard working teen of now-wealthy parents. If you want a society where outcomes are not driven by effort, stamina and drive; where challenges are all expected to be equalized then there are plenty of socialist democracies that you can join (and I hope you do).

Your kid is an unbelievably privileged 1%er.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a great article on how to teach your child to have no competitive spirit and be happy with what meager rations they are given.

Kids this bright are quite aware of who is getting into the schools they and their friends have been targeting for 2 or 3 years and they can see the reverse discrimination and unfairness at play. They are not 2 year olds looking for moms reaction on this.

Maybe responsible parenting is acknowledging that while top schools are a stretch for everyone, it IS unfair that qualities outside of their control and baseless to achievement are getting prioritized over what should matter and thus impacting your child's results. It's not fair and there is nothing we can do.

But that they will still go to a good school and because they are brilliant they will make the best of it. The world will level out once they get past the insanity/bubble of college admissions because in the real world results matter more than checking a demographic box and brilliance and hard work will pay off, regardless of liberal agendas.

Companies focus on things that matter and so while this phase of life will illustrate to them the unfairness of racism of discrimination, the good news is that they will be past this BS in four years.

That is the article I would write.

Holy entitled brat! Maybe they just picked up on these kids messed up superiority complexes and said no thanks.

That you get "entitled brat" out of the perspective that performance should be rewarded without regard to skin color, religion or socioeconomic status is exactly why we have a problem.

Performance is subjective. Your superstar is great but so are others. Your think the "performance" of your genius is superior and others have a different opinion.

Performance is only subjective to racists who think skin color is a factor in performance.

What an ignorant statement. Maybe you student said something as ignorant on the application and got denied.

LOL, come on, don't be stupid. You never call a racist to their face when you need something from them.

Ok. Your poor poor child did not get into the school.of her dreams. You think it was rascism. Got it. Good luck to her

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a great article on how to teach your child to have no competitive spirit and be happy with what meager rations they are given.

Kids this bright are quite aware of who is getting into the schools they and their friends have been targeting for 2 or 3 years and they can see the reverse discrimination and unfairness at play. They are not 2 year olds looking for moms reaction on this.

Maybe responsible parenting is acknowledging that while top schools are a stretch for everyone, it IS unfair that qualities outside of their control and baseless to achievement are getting prioritized over what should matter and thus impacting your child's results. It's not fair and there is nothing we can do.

But that they will still go to a good school and because they are brilliant they will make the best of it. The world will level out once they get past the insanity/bubble of college admissions because in the real world results matter more than checking a demographic box and brilliance and hard work will pay off, regardless of liberal agendas.

Companies focus on things that matter and so while this phase of life will illustrate to them the unfairness of racism of discrimination, the good news is that they will be past this BS in four years.

That is the article I would write.

OMG +1

This is almost the exact dinner table conversation we had with our Asian senior. There is nothing we can do to eliminate the systemic racism currently practiced against Asian students like him in the current admission cycle. He will continue to encounter discrimination and racism while he is at school; this is not fair but that's not an excuse to not try his best. But once he is out in the real world, the world will be fair again and he will be able to succeed unhindered. Dwelling on victim status or making excuses for himself because there is active discrimination against him is counter productive and helps no one. The best revenge is success.

+ 1

While this admissions process has been hard for our white UMC DD, it has been even harder on her Asian friend.

Awwwwww.

It's hard on every kid.

It's just a little harder on the kids with the wrong skin color.

Awwwwww. Hope they survive it the poor things.

Think about your reaction to racism here... with an "awwwwww". That's the kind of person you are. It makes me sad that there are people like you in the world. Again, the best revenge is success. Enjoy your racism-fueled mediocrity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is white and has parents who graduated college, they are already unfathomably privileged. Of course, they don't realize that, because they have been privileged by it their entire lives.

The United States economic system is performance based. It provides opportunity to all members. Some will have to work harder than others and for many it is their struggles that make them stronger than their peers. I put myself though college due to divorced parents and an alcoholic father. I am now a 1%-er. My journey to this point was a lot harder than many of my peers but nothing in this life says things must be handed to you - THAT is entitlement, not being a hard working teen of now-wealthy parents. If you want a society where outcomes are not driven by effort, stamina and drive; where challenges are all expected to be equalized then there are plenty of socialist democracies that you can join (and I hope you do).

A hard-working teen is working 30 hours a week to put food on the table AND getting perfect grades AND getting excellent SATs. Those kids exist and thats what your kids is competing against in 2022.

It's a factor of too many equally qualified, well-rounded, top students and too little pieces of pie at the top 25 Universities.

You can't take it personally. I did take it personally when I was wait-listed at 3 of my top choices. I harbored a lot of resentment. But, I had a great college experience. I am successful, more so than my best friend that graduated from an Ivy.

My kids have faced a lot of politics in the travel sports world. They saw politics even in their elementary school--which had a lot of donors even though it was a public school. They have a preference for anything that is 'merit-based'.

I have already changed my own views and my own approach. I make a point of showing him all the great kids he knows that are getting rejections. I have commented over and over about what a true crapshoot admissions can be. I tell him how, yes, you can appear 'perfect, meet all the criteria' get rejected and never know why. I hang on to the 'everything happens for a reason' mantra. You do your best and then make the most of the outcome.

I have also routinely pointed out that what sometimes at the time seems like 'a failure' or a disappointment is actually what set you up for a better experience. We have seen this in the sports world, not making a team and finding a better coach/teammates, having a better experience. Sometimes even coming out ahead of everyone else 5 years down the road because of the grit and perseverance that rejection caused.

These kids were raised in the 'everyone gets a trophy' world which is not the real world. For many of these kids, college rejections are the very first time in their 18 years they actually have been told 'no' or received a rejection that their parents couldn't steam roll over or persuade their way in to a 'yes'.

Anonymous wrote:Paraphrased but accurate and revealing statements made in this thread:

- My kid's "A"s are valid but other kids are not, grade inflation covid etc.

- My kid deserves to be admitted to colleges X more than the kids who were admitted

- Colleges don't know who they want, they are also incapable of telling one kid from the next

- There is a substantive difference in quality between kids who are admitted and kids who are not

Guys, we all love our kids, and any real or perceived slight against them hurts, and we want them to have everything they want... but these positions above are unfair.

Your paraphrasing capabilities are terrible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a great article on how to teach your child to have no competitive spirit and be happy with what meager rations they are given.

Kids this bright are quite aware of who is getting into the schools they and their friends have been targeting for 2 or 3 years and they can see the reverse discrimination and unfairness at play. They are not 2 year olds looking for moms reaction on this.

Maybe responsible parenting is acknowledging that while top schools are a stretch for everyone, it IS unfair that qualities outside of their control and baseless to achievement are getting prioritized over what should matter and thus impacting your child's results. It's not fair and there is nothing we can do.

But that they will still go to a good school and because they are brilliant they will make the best of it. The world will level out once they get past the insanity/bubble of college admissions because in the real world results matter more than checking a demographic box and brilliance and hard work will pay off, regardless of liberal agendas.

Companies focus on things that matter and so while this phase of life will illustrate to them the unfairness of racism of discrimination, the good news is that they will be past this BS in four years.

That is the article I would write.

OMG +1

This is almost the exact dinner table conversation we had with our Asian senior. There is nothing we can do to eliminate the systemic racism currently practiced against Asian students like him in the current admission cycle. He will continue to encounter discrimination and racism while he is at school; this is not fair but that's not an excuse to not try his best. But once he is out in the real world, the world will be fair again and he will be able to succeed unhindered. Dwelling on victim status or making excuses for himself because there is active discrimination against him is counter productive and helps no one. The best revenge is success.

+ 1

While this admissions process has been hard for our white UMC DD, it has been even harder on her Asian friend.

Awwwwww.

It's hard on every kid.

It's just a little harder on the kids with the wrong skin color.

Awwwwww. Hope they survive it the poor things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is white and has parents who graduated college, they are already unfathomably privileged. Of course, they don't realize that, because they have been privileged by it their entire lives.

True, and ?

They have not gotten meager rations. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a great article on how to teach your child to have no competitive spirit and be happy with what meager rations they are given.

Kids this bright are quite aware of who is getting into the schools they and their friends have been targeting for 2 or 3 years and they can see the reverse discrimination and unfairness at play. They are not 2 year olds looking for moms reaction on this.

Maybe responsible parenting is acknowledging that while top schools are a stretch for everyone, it IS unfair that qualities outside of their control and baseless to achievement are getting prioritized over what should matter and thus impacting your child's results. It's not fair and there is nothing we can do.

But that they will still go to a good school and because they are brilliant they will make the best of it. The world will level out once they get past the insanity/bubble of college admissions because in the real world results matter more than checking a demographic box and brilliance and hard work will pay off, regardless of liberal agendas.

Companies focus on things that matter and so while this phase of life will illustrate to them the unfairness of racism of discrimination, the good news is that they will be past this BS in four years.

That is the article I would write.

Holy entitled brat! Maybe they just picked up on these kids messed up superiority complexes and said no thanks.

No, there is no "maybe" here. The affirmative action folks are very clear about this. They just think there are too many Asians and that's something they want to change. If "superiority complex" was an issue, the California university systems wouldn't be so dominated by Asians.

Face it, you support racists practicing racist policies, because you are a racist at heart.

Go on thinking that your kid was a shoe-in for Harvard and the only thing that kept her out was being asian. That will serve you so well.

I the mean time, you poor victimized kid better go out and get herself an education and carry on. Harvard is a good school but there are many many others.

Strawman, no one claimed that. To the contrary, I very clearly argued that there is no superiority complex.

Harvard or it's Ilk. Tired of the whining and complaining about college admissions. Waste of time. Go with the best option your kid has and don't look back. No one is entitled to go to MIT or Princeton or wherever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a great article on how to teach your child to have no competitive spirit and be happy with what meager rations they are given.

Kids this bright are quite aware of who is getting into the schools they and their friends have been targeting for 2 or 3 years and they can see the reverse discrimination and unfairness at play. They are not 2 year olds looking for moms reaction on this.

Maybe responsible parenting is acknowledging that while top schools are a stretch for everyone, it IS unfair that qualities outside of their control and baseless to achievement are getting prioritized over what should matter and thus impacting your child's results. It's not fair and there is nothing we can do.

But that they will still go to a good school and because they are brilliant they will make the best of it. The world will level out once they get past the insanity/bubble of college admissions because in the real world results matter more than checking a demographic box and brilliance and hard work will pay off, regardless of liberal agendas.

Companies focus on things that matter and so while this phase of life will illustrate to them the unfairness of racism of discrimination, the good news is that they will be past this BS in four years.

That is the article I would write.

OMG +1

This is almost the exact dinner table conversation we had with our Asian senior. There is nothing we can do to eliminate the systemic racism currently practiced against Asian students like him in the current admission cycle. He will continue to encounter discrimination and racism while he is at school; this is not fair but that's not an excuse to not try his best. But once he is out in the real world, the world will be fair again and he will be able to succeed unhindered. Dwelling on victim status or making excuses for himself because there is active discrimination against him is counter productive and helps no one. The best revenge is success.

+ 1

While this admissions process has been hard for our white UMC DD, it has been even harder on her Asian friend.

Awwwwww.

It's hard on every kid.

It's just a little harder on the kids with the wrong skin color.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a great article on how to teach your child to have no competitive spirit and be happy with what meager rations they are given.

Kids this bright are quite aware of who is getting into the schools they and their friends have been targeting for 2 or 3 years and they can see the reverse discrimination and unfairness at play. They are not 2 year olds looking for moms reaction on this.

Maybe responsible parenting is acknowledging that while top schools are a stretch for everyone, it IS unfair that qualities outside of their control and baseless to achievement are getting prioritized over what should matter and thus impacting your child's results. It's not fair and there is nothing we can do.

But that they will still go to a good school and because they are brilliant they will make the best of it. The world will level out once they get past the insanity/bubble of college admissions because in the real world results matter more than checking a demographic box and brilliance and hard work will pay off, regardless of liberal agendas.

Companies focus on things that matter and so while this phase of life will illustrate to them the unfairness of racism of discrimination, the good news is that they will be past this BS in four years.

That is the article I would write.

Holy entitled brat! Maybe they just picked up on these kids messed up superiority complexes and said no thanks.

That you get "entitled brat" out of the perspective that performance should be rewarded without regard to skin color, religion or socioeconomic status is exactly why we have a problem.

Performance is subjective. Your superstar is great but so are others. Your think the "performance" of your genius is superior and others have a different opinion.

Performance is only subjective to racists who think skin color is a factor in performance.

What an ignorant statement. Maybe you student said something as ignorant on the application and got denied.

LOL, come on, don't be stupid. You never call a racist to their face when you need something from them.