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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OK i am SHOCKED at the consensus of the replies b/c I strongly disagree. Her rent has not changed...if you were cool playing the rent for a 25 year old, you can't pull it back to 50% b/c she has a BF/Roommate.

Do you know that he's not contributing in other ways? Maybe he's covering all their "going out" expenses or something else, maybe she uses his car, who knows. It doesn't impact your bills, which you were comfortable with when she was single or casually dating. I see this as 100% you trying to control your 25 yr olds' dating life b/c you don't like the BF. They may wind up married, who can know, but making her DEPENDENT on the relationship by cutting the living expenses by 50% only makes them staying together more likely. If you want to keep this relationship strong, really think carefully about how much you meddle and what strings you add to financial support. I see you as wanting to control an outcome that has nothing to really do with you, which is manipulation.

I agree with the other posters that if you were seeing grocery stores on the credit card bill and the food costs have doubled, that is totally fair game to discuss with her. [/quote]

If she cares about her daughter and wants to make sure her daughter is prepared for real life and marriage, she should withdraw support (or at least half) so they both have to practice living like adults. Which is to work, learn to budget, and make sacrifices. Perhaps the BF won't be able to afford going out every night. Supporting them both is not doing anyone favors. In fact, it is enabling them to live a lifestyle they can't otherwise afford. Grownups don't live off their parents. It's not manipulative behavior to groom your children to be self-supporting and contributing members of society. [/quote]

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