Reply to I have a real life “The Notebook” situation on my hands and I have no clue who to choose.

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Reply to "I have a real life “The Notebook” situation on my hands and I have no clue who to choose. "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Neither, OP.  Neither.

...I can also talk from experience on stepparenting, as I too got a stepdaughter from this marriage. [b] It has been HARD.  Hard.  Really really hard.  [/b]Disagreements over how to handle some crises (DH wanted to ignore them, which led to escalating problems resulting in SD’s heroin addiction and alter incarceration) led to a gulf between us that will likely never be repaired.  Read the book “Stepmonster” and consider it the best case scenario.

Also remember that [b]his child’s mother will be part of your life forever, [/b]and a huge impact on your life for at least another 12-15 years.  Are you signing up for that?

[/quote]

This. If you have a choice, do NOT choose the person who has children especially when you don't and want your own.

No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you try to step back, no matter what ... you will always, always, always have the "stink" of stepmom on you.

Even when they get older, even when they have kids of their own, even when it comes to caring for their elderly parent. You will never truly be a part of your spouses' life because they will always have that part that cannot and will not ever be part of yours.

[/quote]

Thank you for telling me that. I’m assuming you’re saying this from personal experience as a stepparent? [/quote]

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