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[quote=Anonymous]I have similar age gaps.  I have 11 and 5 yr old girls.  They actually share a room too.  And a 10 yr old boy.  The girls get along great for the most part.  But my oldest is super independent and really doesn’t crave parental attention.  She is great with little sister and they play well together (until DD has a friend over).  I think a lot of this isn’t anything you are doing wrong, it just is the personality/needs of your oldest.  But she is who she is.  I get not wanting to have to divide and conquer on weekends, I like family time too, all together.

One way I connect with the oldest is when she has music lessons weekly or a sports competition, I get a babysitter.  That way just she and I can chat in the car during the drive, sometimes I’ll stop in a coffee shop with her for a quick minute to get a snack, we chat during her breaks.  And I’m not distracted trying to entertain the 5 yr old.  She never asks me to do this, but I feel better giving her a little 1:1 time.

My middle child is the more emotional needy one.  For him, after I read and tuck the 5 yr old in, I spend a good 30 min reading to him.  He really enjoys it and it usually turns into a long late night conversation about something on his mind as well.  Luckily my oldest is ok with this and perfectly happy with her nightlight and book in her own bed.  [/quote]

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