Reply to when were inlaws allowed to see baby?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some PPs are missing an important part of OP's post.

[b]Her IL's are asking/expecting her to travel across the country with her newborn as soon as possible after giving birth.[/b]

Many of you are talking about when grandparents saw your baby when they lived nearby, or traveled to see you. This is not the case in all families. I posted upthread about feeling pressured to travel a long distance to introduce my new baby to my ILs, and then having my needs and requests ignored during that visit where I wasn't in my own house and had less control over my surroundings.

When grandparents are unable or unwilling to travel to see a new baby, they need to accept that this means they may not see the baby for a while and they need to come to terms with that. Sometimes the reasons are totally understandable (health, age) and it's unfortunate. But it is not right to expect a new parent, and especially not a new mom who is still recovering from childbirth, learning to breastfeed, and dealing with massive hormone and mood shifts, to jumping in a car or on a plane to bring your grandchild to you. It is just unkind. A new mom and baby are in an emotionally and physically vulnerable state. Too often grandparents ignore that because of their excitement about the new baby, and THEY need to consider how their demands will impact their longterm relationship with their daughter, DIL, and grandchild. Seeing a newborn is special but it is not more important than providing support and respect to the newborn's primary caregivers. Sometimes the best way to love your grandchild is to be respectful of their mother's well being. Not all grandparents understand this, to their own detriment.[/quote]

No LOL in-laws are coming to her.  I agree wording was slightly, but only slightly, ambiguous.  Agreed cross country travel for mom and baby would be different [/quote]

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