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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1 month is still in the thick of the postpartum crappiness. That being said, marriage is absolutely important to prioritize even in the infant stage. Tackle sleep first and the other stuff will get easier. Look at twin-specific advice but basically start a dark-room, quiet but not silent, nighttime routine early on. Be really boring at night so you are not stimulating them. Use baths as a calming nighttime cue. Pause 30sec before responding. etc. Don't prioritize nursing -- put sleep first.

Also this will be unpopular but my DH and I never slept in shifts. We both got up for night feedings and were "in it together." (I was a SAHM at the time and he took paternity leave for a few weeks so that helped. And we had ONE good sleeper. So YMMV)

I would advise you 1) nudge your kids in the direction of good sleep habits and 2) find a sitter (or cleaner etc. for chores) to help out. Ask for friend recs, look at nanny agencies or care.com.

I love getting coffee with my DH so I totally get you, OP, and I think it's absolutely wonderful that you are prioritizing the health of your marriage. Keep it up.[/quote]

Also consider a night nanny. I had family help so I used that but I would have hired a night nanny if I needed to.[/quote]

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