Reply to 4 kids

Forum Index » Expectant and Postpartum Moms

Reply to "4 kids"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If the security of owning your own is a goal then I would not have a fourth.

[b]Current average cost of raising a child to age 17 in the USA is $237,000[/b]. Can you manage to pay $1 million just to get your kids through their junior years of HS? Right now you’re facing fronting more than $700k just to do that with the three you already have.

[b]On two fed salaries doing that and owning a home is going to be basically impossible[/b]. I’d stick with three and be able to do some of the things having a fourth will make impossible or very challenging (modest vacations, summer camp, travel sport team if one is talented).[/quote]

Owning (or renting) a larger home is already included into the cost of raising a child, so most of the cost is already in.  Or do you think that feeding and clothing a kid costs over $10K/year, on average?

[/quote]

Bless your heart if you think the only expenses in raising a child are rent, food and clothing  :D [/quote]

For some families it is - no activities, no extra and just the basics.  Kids pay for their own college.  They  also get very little 1-1 attention and  siblings are extra parents.[/quote]

OP here. I hadn't engaged in this conversation yet because these cost calculations just don't resonate with me. Like, we probably spend money so differently than others so I just don't think like this. We have very low housing and childcare costs. Since we never bought a home and live small, our monthly living expenses are probably way lower than comparable families in the DMV. 
- never paid for daycare (one year of cooperative play program run by DC DPR, then free PreK
- baby is at home with us while we WFH with split schedules.
- make our own food, breastfeed, get hand me down baby clothes, so diapers are basically the only increase in expenses with the addition of Baby #3
- get a lot of hand me downs from a cousin's kids, so I only buy kid clothes when really necessary
- we do take a local vacation once a year which is again, not a huge expense since it's a 3.5 hour drive away, we enjoy a national park
- and... Yes our kids will likely get scholarships to college, no plans to pay for theirs. This is what DH and I did, we don't really expect to pay their school.[/quote]

DP--OP, it sounds like you live a much more minimalist and different lifestyle than much of DCUM (though not different than other parts of this country and the world) and that's great.  One thing to consider, which I haven't seen you raise, is what if something goes wrong.  What if one of your kids has a medical or other special need that is expensive or really throws off your schedules?  What of one of you gets sick or changes and can't be as hyperfunctional as you both are?  My DH had a medical event happen at 44 and while it hasn't completely altered our lives, it's been very challenging and limits his capacity in ways we couldn't have anticipated.

All of which is to say: it's fine to leave yourselves some breathing room.  Keep in mind that as kids get older their needs change, and it can be harder to be as minimalist when your kids start becoming independent people.  My oldest is 10 and while it's easier in many ways having older kids, there are other considerations than when they were really little.  Never mind that college costs SO much more than it did when you and your DH attended--there are plenty of other reasons to not keep having kids, as great as they are.[/quote]

Thank you. Yes, DH & I come from very humble beginnings so for us, to have a lovely place to live in one of the nicest neighborhoods in DC, even if that means having kids share a room/not having our own yard, etc... We are super grateful for what we have.

You raise a good point. On the one hand, I wouldn't want to live in fear of an unexpected event up-ending our lives, as you can never really plan for that.
But, I do think I have bore the brunt of having children, by the fact that I'm the one going through pregnancy, BFing, losing my abdominal muscles, etc. (at least until I put in the work to get back in shape), and I think this is the area I need to really think about. I'm appreciative of DH when he says that we should focus on my health first. We'd love to have more children.
But maybe we could look into fostering at a later date if we really feel the urge. I know there are so many children in need out there.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics