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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I can feel the pain and anxiety in your post.

First, with regards to your premie... congratulations on your little one, and as premies go, 35 weeks is typically a very good prognosis in terms of major medical issues. Without knowing any specific issues that you might be dealing with, the chance are well on your side that you will have a healthy, beautiful little infant to bring home and love. You will look back at this time of major stress and marvel that you are stronger than you know. I feel for any mom with a premie, and the thought of you heaping extra stress on yourself is so sad.

I think what you need is some self-compassion. I do believe that if we each had to list our biggest regrets in life and our decisions we wish we had done differently a parent, you would feel better.  But you don't get to see those lists, so it is easy to feel like a "bad mom." Please treat yourself as you would treat a friend - not judgmental and with understanding. You deserve the same compassion that I'm betting you give others.

Best of luck with your new baby, and with taking good care of yourself during this very stressful time.[/quote]

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