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[quote=Anonymous]Two abortions for me, and two full-term enormous babies. Best friend had no abortions and two preemies. We're not a big enough sample group, but I hope it reassures you in some way.

You are searching for answers, and this seems like a reasonable place to pin your anger and focus. It may be, it may not be, either way there's nothing you can do about it but move on from here and do the best you can.

I was, for a lot of reasons, very very hard on my first son from the time he was 2 - almost 4. I never hit him or anything like that, but was super-strict, and one night I hissed my anger in his face. I stepped back from the ledge and have stayed very far from it since. I have so much shame and regret and anger at potentially affecting his whole future life with my anger. Every time he has any emotional reaction that seems angry, I wonder if I have "ruined him." The truth is that he's a fantastic kid, warm, loving, kind, empathetic, and good. If I affected him, and I may well have, it's only a part of what I did for him. And every time I start to worry, I just (literally) tell myself: It is what it is. Its over and done. Move on and move UP and count your blessings.

All you can do is the best you can do, from here on out. You're going to love being a mother. Enjoy.[/quote]

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