Reply to Struggling with the physical side of dating

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I think it’s related to dating anxiety. I didn’t have this issue with my ex.[/quote]

Take it easy on yourself, easier said than do I know, but don't start listening to those clowns who say you have to do XYZ or else. They aren't worth it. Just see dating as fun, and do what comes naturally to you. I suspect that when there's someone you are into the wanting to touch him will come and happen quite organically. I say this as someone who did the online dating there were those I didn't want to touch and those I was daydreaming about doing the deed with from date one and  in between.[/quote]
[b]
But what if I have no interest in “doing the deed” with anyone[/b]?  I mean, is that the only thing there is to post-divorce dating? [/quote]

[b]A couple, things if you were previously into xes, I would step away from dating and possibly go into therapy to deal with whatever caused you to lose interest in it.

If you are confident you are firmly asexual then you need to put that in your dating profile[/b].[/quote]

Not OP, but: JFC.

It is not "asexual" to want to wait to have sex with someone you actually have gotten to know as a person.

It is not "losing interest in sex" to date to get to know a whole person, not just hunt for a sex partner as early in the dating as possible. Nor is it something to pathologize and turn into a reason for therapy.

Some people actually want sex and plenty of it, with the right person, whom they trust, not with someone they've seen for a few hours at time, a couple of times, on their best dating behavior.

It's so very DCUM to consider it asexual or a case for therapy if someone isn't into easy sex, early on. Before you leap in here to say, "But, but BUT the PP said 'What if I have no interest in doing the deed with anyone'! That means no sex at all so she's/he's asexual!" Uh, not necessarily. Whatever that PP means for her or himself, it's all too common on here for posters to insist that dating = sex, period. Dating used to be about getting to know people and then deciding if you wanted to have sex with one of those people -- not "if we date more than once, I expect sex, or there is something wrong with you." 
[/quote]

The bold should help you out. There are courses you can take to improve your reading comprehension. There's also therapy and meds to help control your angry outbursts. Look into both, and have a happy and healthy new year![/quote]

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