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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am probably focusing on the bad. She kept the house organized (she had a cleaning lady). The fridge was stocked. She drove me to soccer practice/games. She also paid for my undergraduate degree and living expenses. That said, I feel like I do not have the best relationship with her. In my teenage years I felt that she didn't respect me even though I was a pretty good kid.[/quote]
Difficult to tell from your OP. You were clearly not neglected from the standpoint of basic care. You may have been emotionally neglected...seems likely, but hard to tell.

I think I am a good example of someone who was pretty clearly emotionally neglected, though it's not really an official term I don't think. As an example, my sister tried to kill herself when I was 11, and I was the one who had to call 911 because my mom was hysterical and my dad had flown off to visit my grandparents overseas when it happened (because he was stressed about my sister's depression). I realized recently that in 30 years since, my parents never once asked me how I felt about what happened, if I was scared that night etc. Aside from confirming it was an intentional overdose the next day, they never once mentioned it or asked me about it. They also did things like forget they had promised to attend the one game a season they said they would. Or forget to tuck me in after they said good night to my sister and got into a fight with her, and then when I came to their room to ask they would just shout good night to me from their bed. I knew they were stressed over my depressed sister with an ED, but as a parent now I realize how messed up it was that they just sort of pretended that their other kid didn't need anything except food, clothes, and shelter.

None of this is the same as material neglect, but it is emotionally harmful. I've spent a lot of time in therapy, unsurprisingly. It's hard when your physical and material needs were met to admit that there was something fundamental you didn't get...and that it hurt you not to have it. You feel perpetually ungrateful. But if you want to have a good relationship with your spouse and kids (or really anyone), you have to learn to make yourself emotionally vulnerable. And that starts with admitting you have emotional needs.[/quote]

DP.

I am sorry you were emotionally neglect as a chld. This seems to be very common among my friends/family members who had a difficult/ill sibling. The parents were usually emotionally exhausted from the difficult child that the other siblings were left to fend for themselves emotionally. Wishing you emotional wellness and health.[/quote]

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