Reply to Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future. [/quote]

saying he'll break up with her can be considered a threat[/quote]

He’s not obligated to continue to date her!   We are failing our girls if we don’t tell them that sex can create feelings of attachment, especially for girls and young women.  It’s an intimate act.   I feel terrible for this girl, and yes, the guy sounds like a horrible person, but what he did wasn’t criminal.    We need to do a better job with our girls and the messages we give them about sex.  [/quote]

I do not know if he was a jerk or not. All we know is what OP(the aunt?) is telling us. She is protective and concerned about the girl. OP is not an unbiased person and goes out of her way to blame the boy. The girl is depressed, cutting her self and has substance abuse issues. Her is in therapy. He broke up with her because he is going off to college. Should he have continued the relationship? Should he continue to date someone who is depressed, cutting themselves and has substance abuse? Should he be arrested and charged with rape based on what OP says? I wonder if OP has even talked to her about this or is just getting the story second hand from the parents?[/quote]

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