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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It would depend on the circumstances. [b] Signing up for divorced in laws means an exponentially more complicated in-law relationship, more drama over holidays, potential acrimony at weddings and other events. Eldercare becomes more complicated with step-parents. Inheritances are messier. [/b]

If the divorced parents were amicable and self aware, if they understood their choice to divorce meant 1/3 vs 1/2 on holidays/grandchildren events, then I would not make it a dealbreaker, but I would not marry someone whose parents were messily divorced.

Not that it is likely to matter as my parents and in laws are still married, but it is how I would advise my children. [/quote]

What is in bold is a complete stereotype from divorce 20-30 years ago. None of this is true in my situation.[/quote]

I don’t think it’s a stereotype (I’m the poster you quoted) I’m an older millennial and the friends I have who are married with divorced parents are going through hell.  One was written out of her fathers will in favor of the new baby, but her half brother won’t lift a finger to help her now nearly-senile father find a memory care assisted living. Another gets a drunken tirade every Christmas that she doesn’t spend with her mother and spends with her father because “she’s the baby’s real grandma”. Others spend all day on every holiday driving to three or four households to keep the peace.

One family (amicable and self aware!) tolerates their ex spouse on holidays when it’s their turn.  Their assets are in trust for their original kids. A family like that would not raise red flags for me. [/quote]

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