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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The reason the 5 year old is out of control is because her mother is allowing it.

Loved, safe, disciplined children with no mental health issues are not out of control.

Is the daughter loved? Does she feel safe? IS she safe? Is she lovingly disciplined? Does she have undisclosed mental health issues?

Other than mental health issues, the remaining issues are a result of good/bad parenting. Are the adults in her life loving, caring, safe? This includes you, OP.

No healthy 5-year old who is getting the love, care, and attention that she needs will be a bad child. They might do bad things occassionally, but they aren't bad children.

What is actually going on here? You calling a 5-year-old out of control makes me think you need to take a look at the whole picture, meaning her mom and dad and you. And anybody her dad might be seeing.[/quote]

Except mental health issues are incredibly common, not typically diagnosed by age 5, and generally align exactly with the percentage of "bad" kids.  10-15% of kids have ADHD. More have depression and anxiety.  So 10-20 % of kids right of the bat have neurodivergences that make them feel out of control in certain situations.  And that perfectly aligns with 2 or 3 kids in any elementary class having the "bad" reputation.  It's atypical that the issue would be diagnosed by age 5.  And these kinds of diagnoses don't make kids monsters. They are just a little outside the curve of what we "expect" or "want" from kids' behavior at that age.

So you can take your "i raised my perfect children because i'm a perfect mom" attitude and shove it.  [/quote]

Wow. That's not what I mean. I mean kids aren't inherently bad or out of control. They aren't any more perfect than any of us. They should have less baggage at this point in time, though.[/quote]

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