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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all again for the advice and for the amazing cocktail from DCUM bartender! For those offering advice specific to sailboats: my husband is a lifelong sailor and has always had one. He just has his heart set on upgrading to really a much larger one with three cabins etc. And yes, they are that expensive even used, and he knows they don’t hold their value. We’d finance it— it would be a large monthly payment of about $3k plus of course slip fees, maintenance etc.
It’s not even about the boat for me so much as it is about the disregard for me. The other night when I told him I really don’t want to get this huge boat he said, “I don’t care what you want.”
Plus the lack of sex for 5 years, when I got tired of constantly initiating so just stopped, is a big problem. And the not-infrequent verbal abuse he throws my way is also a major, if not the core, issue.[/quote]

I know boating people OP, so I understand that it's the real thing. However, that level of investment only makes sense if you're really going to sail - like become a cruiser for months out of the year, a serious commitment.  If you don't want that life, it doesn't make sense for you to pay for half the boat.  Also - even if you did want to sail yourself - cruising is a HUGE stressor on couples.  If he's already a jerk to you on land, how do you think he's going to act in the middle of a passage when something goes wrong?  Not to get overly dramatic, but my sailing friend told me that her &sshole boyfriend nearly killed her once in a fight on the water.

Sounds like your husband wants to live a different life now, and that's totally fine. Let him go.  [/quote]

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