Reply to If you succeeded with ‘no food in this house,’ tell me how

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm confused by all you people suggesting hotel.

OP raised no other issues with the ILs.  Apparently the stay is fine.  What happens is that there is not as much food as they want, and likely the stray comment once or twice a day.  OP seems to have found a workaround that feeds her family.

Doesn't every family have some aspects that you don't like?  My dad picks at his toenails and I can't stand it.  My mom frequently complains about something.  My MIL makes lots of remarks that either intentionally or unintentionally compare my DH to my BIL.  It is all annoying.  But do we really expect perfection from anyone, much less family?[/quote]

I think if you haven't dealt with this form of mental illness you don't get it.

Denying someone a basic need like food, and verbally abusing them for having basic needs, isn't the same as an annoying habit.

I grew up with a parent like this.  I lived in a house that recently sold for $1.4 million, and went to school at a pricy private school where my parents paid full tuition, and bed hungry every day of my childhood.  A huge part of my childhood was figuring out how I could either earn money (babysitting, dog walking, etc . . . by the time I was 9), or get invited to someone's house who had snacks. [/quote]
That sounds really terrible, PP, and different from the usual DCUM scenario where the controlling behavior around food starts with advancing age. Did you end up having a relationship with this parent as an adult?[/quote]

I'm also the PP whose kids need to swim every day.  My mom's behavior has definitely gotten worse as she's gotten older, because as her calorie needs have naturally declined she's continued to reset what she thinks a kid would need.   We had lunch, for example, I also think that in her mind she fed her kids X amount and we still all ended up with some degree of weight struggles, so clearly kids need less, when in reality because we were all food seeking, and what we had access to wasn't particularly healthy we were eating more calories than she was aware of.

Of the 3 kids in my family, two of us have relationships as adults that are very structured, and one has no relationship.  The two of us who have a relationship recognize this as mental illness, which provides a little more compassion.  The other also has severe mental illness, although it presents differently.[/quote]

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