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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is DH’s take on why they act this way and what were his coping mechanisms growing up?[/quote]

NP here.  MIL is like this, too.  A tiny chicken will be for 16+ people, then when there are no "seconds" (not really seconds, just that no one had enough, to begin with, including the grown men) - then MIL insists "WELL, that must have been a GREAT dinner!  There is nothing LEFT!  And I thought I made enough for an army!" All this proclamation with a straight face.  Some people have food and control issues, that are tied to their anxiety/ies.  In MIL's case, there were always too many kids in her family growing up, and not enough food during the depression, and the kids were nothing but a drain on the family and the nothing (literally, nothing) they had.

Additionally MIL will ALWAYS wait when the BILs are late for dinner - no one can eat, even if we have to wait literally hours for them to join us.  But if her own son is late for dinner, there will be nothing left by the time we get there, and we have to explain to the kids why we are going to the McDonald's drive through on Christmas. MIL is =messed up, for sure.

Perfect example of grown people carrying their untreated child hood traumas with them for life.

OP, I feel you.  Do what you have to do, and tell them, don't ask them. [/quote]

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