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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I am not sure of the definition, but we met when I was 26 and my adult self was formed.  My college boyfriend was my foundational relationship, but that clearly didn't last forever.  He is the one with whom I formed an understanding of what I wanted out of life.

That said, my husband is very important to me as is the life we built/are making together.[/quote]

Really? I met and married my husband in my mid-late 20s but I'd still say my adult self wasn't (and still isn't) fully formed. I'm still trying to be a better person. A lot of what I learned from my family has been added to, and has really evolved. My husband has definitely helped shape me. Some ways - I like. Otherways - I need to fight against. I'm certainly not thinking he is a 100% good influence on me. But he certainly is a mostly good influence on me. Our upbringings were similar in many ways (similar economic bracket, I think) but very different in other ways (society vs. non-society, region of the country, norms of society in those areas). So his perspective on things can be very different than mine.

I still find that I am growing and making decisions about who I want to be, and relooking at who I am as a person. So, yes, his influence (and my kids influence, TBH) has been foundational. [/quote]

Really. Personality is formed by about 6 and after mid 20s you keep learning, but you aren’t building your brain in the same way you are before 25 ish or so.  Think rental cars- they charge more under 25 because the brain is more impulsive/building in a different way.  Of course you continue living and growing, but I don’t think I would really be all that different without my husband at this point in my life.  Things would be, my children would be different, but I’m not sure I would be radically different.  My college boyfriend did have a bigger impact upon my brain in that sense.  We were together after moving out of our parent’s houses for the first time, and while choosing majors and careers.  I’m no longer making those decisions and my husband didn’t impact them, so I’m not sure he helped “build” my foundational adult being. 
No one isn’t growing or making decisions about who they want to be, but yes psychology and brain structure differences have a role in our emotional and developmental lives. [/quote]

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