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[quote=Anonymous]I see it from both sides. DH and I both come from troubled backgrounds and we don’t have good memories of holidays with our nuclear families. We live really far away from any relatives and we have one child, so we spend all of our holidays at home, just the three of us. It was really hard when our DC was little. It’s better now because we have a rowdy ES student who loves all the traditions we have been doing since he was little. Creating traditions doesn’t happen overnight. It felt like work,honestly, for the first 5-6 years and now it’s so much better.

During the holidays we are deluged with images of big families with Hallmark holidays and it feels shaming and isolating when you don’t have that. I think for many of us it triggers feelings that we’d prefer to have left behind from our youth. Bizarrely it felt better to me the last 2 years because we finally were just like everyone else, staying home for the holidays due to COVID.

We have often wanted to pair up with another small family or invite single people to celebrate with us. Goodness knows I’ve read that advice 1000 times. I think it’s harder to do than many people realize. We’ve had people to invite only once or twice.

Some practical tips for OP - I always have music or holiday shows on in the background. Keeps that depressing silence at bay. As others have said, LOTS of planned activities to keep you busy. We make our pets a part of the celebration. They get small gifts and a special treat on each holiday. We spend at least one day cooking for a homeless shelter near our house or doing other charitable works. We talk a lot, with purpose, to our DC about how lucky we are.

I’m sorry, OP, this is hard. But there is truth in the remark that perspective is so important. I hope you enjoys the upcoming holidays. [/quote]

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