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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Like other pps I initially responded thinking he could afford a ring or that you were happy with something simple and inexpensive but that he was refusing on the basis of it being silly and superficial.

He should not be purchasing anything he can not afford right now. You should not be insisting he do that. [/quote]

As I said, he will definitely make a lot more money quite soon (it’s contracted), does spend on other things he wants, and has not said anything about a small ring now with a future upgrade. [/quote]

Is he currently overspending on unnecessary items? If so, this is a whole different red flag. Have you spoken to him about wanting a ring once he can afford it or are you assuming he won’t because he hasn’t brought it up? [/quote]

[b]I wouldn’t dare bring it up bc it seems so rude. But he has not hinted at anything like this,[/b] and I can tell he thinks it is all stupid and meaningless even though it is very meaningful to me. [/quote]

The bigger red flag is that you're afraid to talk to him about this. Talking about uncomfortable things is part of marriage, and it's a good skill to have. I get it. It seems rude, and many men aren't into the whole ring thing. But waiting around for hints will make you miserable.

You need to have a discussion on what your engagement will look like. What is his vision? Does he want to set a wedding date for the near future? Or does he just think you'll fall into marriage "one day"? How does it align with your vision, and how can you make both of you happy? Come with options for him for a ring. Show him rings you like in multiple different budgets. Mention buying a small ring now, and upgrading in 5-10 years.

Trust me on this. I was afraid to say anything, and I was anxious and miserable when a ring/proposal never came. I had to actually verbalize what I wanted.[/quote]

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