Reply to If your teen had a serious mental heath crisis how did it change your life?

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[quote=Anonymous]I knew she was different from the first week she was born. Neurodiversity runs in my family but I think getting a bit crushed by her twin and a vacuum birth made it worse. She wouldn't let anyone but me touch her for the first year. My ex was never around, raised twins completely on my own in a new country with no family. Dumped his ass when she was 5, by 7 she could barely walk because of stomachaches and headaches. We were blown off by doctors for seven years. No one, not even her father, believed me or her. She went 100% ballistic at about 10. By 12 was suicidal. I was 100% on my own, ex is rich but refused to pay child support, I couldn't work because of all the MD appts, then I went crazy and added my MD appts on top. I became suicidal for 5 years. The other daughter began to have issues. We're on welfare and have spent 10 years never knowing if we'll lose our home in the next month (got evicted 3x). I've spent the majority of nights in the last seven years crying, sobbing.

95% my friends bailed on me, even BFFs from 40 years ago. They are all well-off and I guess I was too depressing. Zero help from them, not even hand-me-down pyjamas....but of course they happily give time and money to charities and foundations and god knows what. I have not had sex in at least 6 years (can't remember), no boyfriend for 9 years. Made a new girlfriend eventually (almost 3 years of friendship, but it moved slow).

The last three years I completely lost my mind, I would lay on the floor several times a week and wail like a dying animal, I had to, it was the only relief I could find. I was so incredibly bitter and exhausted. The anger. The anger at so many MDs telling me that I'm the problem. Even my family told me to "get it together" while they are wealthy and childless.

14 months ago, after 8 years of fighting battles to save our lives, she finally got an neuropsych evaluation : ADD, OCD, anxiety disorder - they said sensory processing disorder isn't really a "thing" and she didn't qualify for ASD. It took 9 months of losing it with her psychiatrist to give her ADHD meds - when she got them, she transformed. It was going so great this year, but a couple of times she's spiraled out of  control. I'm being hyper vigilant about her potential eating disorder. Anxiety consumes me - and I do my therapy 2x/week, group therapy, family therapy + meds.

Tonight was so bad I wanted to check into a hotel alone. Just freaking walk out and not come back for three days. But i don't have the money. I contemplated a hostel. Errrr, I am contemplating a hostel. They are old enough to stay home alone and are such grumpy teenagers, frankly they won't even notice I'm gone for a day.

TLDR: everything in my entire life is screwed. My career, no friends, no companion, no money, no retirement, no car, borderline homeless for 10 years....all because more than 20 MDs refused to listen to us....

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