Reply to I don't want to go on vacation with my husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to get your sex life going.  He has said he needs to reconnect with you.  Men don't feel connected without sex.  Someone has to make the first move.  Sounds like your marriage is teetering on disaster.  What about sex before you leave to take the awkwardness away?

I agree your husband sounds unthoughtful, he should be a man and take initaitive[/quote]
Here is someone who gets it, thank you for posting this.  As a man, I can see where he's coming from and if your dead sex life and constant rebuking of his advances has him trying to find a way to reignite that spark[b].  He should take more initiative, but I can tell you his motivation factor feels low because it seems like you've checked out physically and now emotionally.

You have two option, try to reconnect somehow and see if you're still in this marriage- or get out and let him find someone who would love to go on trips with him. [/quote]

OP here. He does not make advances so there are none to rebuke. He's not particularly high drive, so it's not like he's been begging me for it and I've declined. It has just slipped by the wayside. There are other aspects to him that have decreased my desire for him on the physical and mental side. We did do some counseling last year but had to stop when DH had a medical issue. Neither of us really believe in divorce except in the case of adultery/abuse/addiction and I'm sure the grass isn't always greener. He knows he has a good partner in me and is too protective over our collective accounts to part with any of it over a divorce.

I have told him that all I want from him is to show some thoughtfulness. He has never planned a date although I've told him it would be lovely if he did. He just waits until it's the 9th hour and asks me to do it. Then it's a chore for me and not something to look forward to. Romance is not really in his vocabulary. He likes to be shown that I'm thinking about him/doing nice things for him but it doesn't really occur to him to reciprocate. There's always been a twinge of this, but it has gotten worse. Once he had me he pretty much stopped trying.

We do have fun together when we're around other people in social situations. [/quote]

How insulting that he pretends to be thoughtful and engaged “around other people” but not his own spouse or home.[/quote]

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