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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of course he’s going to get defensive. You describe him as “incapable” and there’s no way that doesn’t come through. [b]Even if you’re just pointing out the mistakes he made (i.e. “you got regular coffee instead of decaf and nobody drinks decaf”) [/b]he picks up on your low opinion of him.[/quote]

NP. So what’s the solution? (Similar things have happened in my house.)

If I don’t point out the difference between what I asked for and what he purchased, he won’t know to look for it next time. It’s not about blaming him for his past mistake, it’s just about preventing the same mistake going forward. But my spouse takes everything I say so negatively, like OP’s spouse. I’ve been reading about rejection sensitive dysphoria, which sometimes occurs with ADD. I think it may be that. [/quote]

I fired my housekeeper who couldn’t follow our grocery list even 75% accurately.

Not sure what is do with a life partner who couldn’t care or think enough to buy $hit off a list or remember what types of fatty milk there is.  
Come on, after age 5 you are not drinking milk fat!![/quote]

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